Who you callin' loquacious?

When you're known around town as The Verbose Ghost, and you write on all things media, no matter how trivial they may be, then this little paragraph was too perfect not to reference. This witty piece of prose was the runner-up in this year's annual Bulwer-Lytton literary parody prize, in which entrants were asked to write their worst opening sentence to a make-believe literary novel. As I said, the winner didn't excite me, but the runner up did:

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"